I wonder how much of this phenomenon is related to the locale you report (Bible-belt America) or even era (90's)? As someone from another nation, I didn't recognize this type of theology as dominant in conversations - often the opposite. Certainly, American resources end up influencing our nation to some degree but some points didn't always culturally transport well.
Context: Western Canada. First half of my life was growing up Lutheran. The second and longer half in the Vineyard. (Though I did some time (1yr?) in a Pentecostal church.) We certainly did hear messages from purity culture authors that made their way into some of our church systems (noticed that most strongly among my Baptist and Pentecostal friends). I observe that our cultural framework tends to be heavier on the post-modern individualist framework challenging some of the co-dependent messages to be much of the conversation. That was more observably present among my American extended family (mid-west, south).
I understand about co-dependency in marriage being harmful, but less convinced about finding completeness within your internal relationship with God. I think the new testament teaches that deep friendship is necessary and marriage is optional, which the church seems to get the wrong way around.
I think the deep friendships are necessary, as modelled by Jesus and as taught through the numerous “one another”s: https://www.watermark.org/blog/the-one-anothers-of-scripture (first website I googled that listed these). I think we find completeness in God’s community, not in marriage or in ourselves. So maybe being co-dependent within a community, as opposed to just marriage, is OK, good even?
Thanks John! Co-dependency is looking outside of ourselves therefore outside of God for what we need and building systems, relationships that expect other people to meet those needs. I don’t see any value in that, in fact I have seen this ruin relationships over and over again
"outside of ourselves therefore outside of God" - do you not think that God inhabits His community (i.e. the local and global church), instead of just individuals? I think that looking to the church, is actually a more authentic way to encounter God, than purely within myself. Not due to His limitations, but my own.
Yes! I think community is a must. Interdependent community. I think Paul’s language about the Body is helpful imagery for how God intends for us to live in community with others.
I wonder how much of this phenomenon is related to the locale you report (Bible-belt America) or even era (90's)? As someone from another nation, I didn't recognize this type of theology as dominant in conversations - often the opposite. Certainly, American resources end up influencing our nation to some degree but some points didn't always culturally transport well.
Thanks for sharing! What is your context?
Context: Western Canada. First half of my life was growing up Lutheran. The second and longer half in the Vineyard. (Though I did some time (1yr?) in a Pentecostal church.) We certainly did hear messages from purity culture authors that made their way into some of our church systems (noticed that most strongly among my Baptist and Pentecostal friends). I observe that our cultural framework tends to be heavier on the post-modern individualist framework challenging some of the co-dependent messages to be much of the conversation. That was more observably present among my American extended family (mid-west, south).
I understand about co-dependency in marriage being harmful, but less convinced about finding completeness within your internal relationship with God. I think the new testament teaches that deep friendship is necessary and marriage is optional, which the church seems to get the wrong way around.
I think the deep friendships are necessary, as modelled by Jesus and as taught through the numerous “one another”s: https://www.watermark.org/blog/the-one-anothers-of-scripture (first website I googled that listed these). I think we find completeness in God’s community, not in marriage or in ourselves. So maybe being co-dependent within a community, as opposed to just marriage, is OK, good even?
Thanks John! Co-dependency is looking outside of ourselves therefore outside of God for what we need and building systems, relationships that expect other people to meet those needs. I don’t see any value in that, in fact I have seen this ruin relationships over and over again
"outside of ourselves therefore outside of God" - do you not think that God inhabits His community (i.e. the local and global church), instead of just individuals? I think that looking to the church, is actually a more authentic way to encounter God, than purely within myself. Not due to His limitations, but my own.
Yes! I think community is a must. Interdependent community. I think Paul’s language about the Body is helpful imagery for how God intends for us to live in community with others.