Healing Through Contemplative Practices

And the Unpredictable Wisdom of our Bodies

As the lead pastor at the Vineyard, I begin every staff meeting by lighting our Christ candle and guiding my team through a spiritual formation practice. This grounding moment helps us transition from our busy lives into a space of interior listening, togetherness and focus.

On a recent day, we engaged in a body-centered meditation, and I want to share that experience with you. It’s vital for us to become present to our bodies, as this can be one of the most important practices we engage in, as Christians. Why don’t you try it with me?

Guided Meditation

I invite you to close your eyes. If possible, place both feet firmly on the ground and sit upright in your chair with a neutral spine. Take a deep breath in through your nose, hold it for a few seconds, and then exhale through your mouth.

As you breathe, try to align your inhalations with your exhalations. Don’t judge your breath. Just notice it. Are you breathing labored or easy?

Focus on your breath and become aware of your body, while also recognizing the presence of God with you. Imagine God’s gaze upon you.

With your eyes still closed, let’s do a body scan. Start at the top of your head and move down to your forehead, eye sockets, nose, cheekbones, mouth, and neck—both front and back. As you bring awareness to your body, notice any areas where you might be holding tension or stress. With each breath, see if you can gently release some of that tension.

Continue this mindfulness down through your shoulders, chest, arms, and all the way to your fingertips and then continue down until you have reached your toes.

Be still and silent here for a few moments. If you feel resistant, that’s okay. Welcome that resistance; don’t fight it. If your mind begins to wander, gently invite your mind to come back to noticing your body.

Let’s take a moment in silence…

Reflection

After this practice, I encourage you to jot down anything that came up for you. Notice what you felt in your body and how it felt to be with God during this time. Your task is simply to observe without judgment.

This is how I begin each staff meeting. Or something like this. Recently, as I guided my team through this practice, I noticed something about myself. I found myself leaning over and tensing my face. I wrote down that I was clenching and flinching, particularly on one side of my body.

Upon reflection, I realized this was how my body was responding to God. I recognized that I was grappling with the God I was raised to believe in—a distant deity, quick to punish for any misstep. Many of you may resonate with this experience; it’s a common wound we carry.

Photo by Align Towards Spine on Unsplash

As I sat with this realization, I questioned why this old wound was surfacing now. My mind quickly reminded me of my journey: I’m now 41, a lead pastor, and I’ve worked hard to deconstruct and reconstruct my understanding of God. I left behind a toxic, controlling faith, have gone through therapy, medication, spiritual direction, healing prayer and have now reclaimed my voice. So why was I experiencing this tension during prayer on a Monday morning with my wonderful team?

I was raised in a denomination known for its patriarchal and fundamentalist views. During this time, I was also preparing to speak at a conference affiliated with this denomination—a space I hadn’t entered since 2019, for a multitude of reasons. The thought of returning stirred a deep sense of unease in my body, signaling that I didn’t feel safe in that environment or with that version of God. This old wound still required attention.

The Need for Healing

I wonder: do you have wounds in need of attention? Are you seeking healing? Like me, you may be navigating your own wounds—whether from spiritual abuse, trauma, or toxic religious environments. In a world where the name of Jesus is being co-opted for political gain, and wrought with racism, and sexism, we all carry wounds that need healing.

Healing can’t happen alone; it is only possible in community. Many of us have experienced trauma in religious spaces, and it’s essential to address that. Clinicians define religious trauma as the overwhelming emotional and psychological response to harmful religious beliefs, practices, or structures.

Abuse is what happened to you; trauma is how you responded to it. We all carry different traumas, both big and small.

Contemplative Practices as Healing Resources

In our journey toward healing, contemplative embodied practices can serve as valuable resources. These practices are one significant way that God heals us in community. While therapy, spiritual direction, and other professional resources are vital, contemplative practices allow us to access our internal resources for healing. Internally, where God dwells. God dwells within you, Beloved. In your body, in your breath, in your limbs.

As we continue to explore this topic, in coming weeks, I’ll share more about how we can integrate these practices into our lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey of healing and growth.